Day 3: Self-Forgiveness - Self-Interest & Fear of Loss

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have limited myself to a life of self-interest within believing that there is nothing more to life and nothing beyond existing within self-interest as a character of the mind, indulging in itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and justifications as to why I cling onto self-interest, not allowing myself to see and realize that allowing self-interest has an effect on other beings in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto self-interest as if it has any value at all, not seeing and realizing that it is more like a debilitating addiction to energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know how to move and exist if I am not moving myself within desire as self-interest, following the carrot on the string as the mind as if there is no other way of existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act within and as me as if I can't live without self-interest and indulgence within self-interest desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to live without thinking and the addiction to thought.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that ALL thinking is in fact excuses and ego protection mechanisms that I have used and allowed to protect my self-interest, and so it is in fact an actual acceptance and allowance done by ME, and it is no fault or blame but my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be 'too tired' to apply myself now, not allowing myself to see and realize that this is simply an excuse to hold onto my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no rest within standing up, believing that since there are so many problems in the world I must be constantly anxious and on edge.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within believing that there is no rest within standing up at all times for life, and in believing that only anxiety can exist because of all of the problems in the world, that the reality is that I don't fully understand anything in regards to being life and being who I really am as life - that perhaps fear is not necessary at all to be able to do what must be done.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I don't HAVE to exist within a constant state of anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to question every single thought I have and have had.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached so much value to my ideas about myself and my perception of my life that I have a fear of loss in regards to giving it up, when it all only exists within my imagination - it isn't real - so I have a fear of losing something that is not real.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that what I am clinging onto and believing that I can't live without is an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that life exists abundantly beyond the walls of self-interest and mind bullshit, and because of this it is stupid to have fear of loss in regards to giving up what I have perceived as "myself" and "my life".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling onto self-interest and my perception of who I am and my life, as if this is it, as if there is nothing more to living than this, which is not true at all unless I MAKE it true by condemning myself to it within my acceptance and allowance of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become a slave of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to push myself to stop the mind and live free within and as breath as life.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be absolutely specific with the thoughts that exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping, and within this I see that I have allowed fear to be my god and the decider of all that I do and don't do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always come up with an excuse for not stopping myself - which has its basis in the fear of what would happen if I DID stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within me as if it would mean death and extinction and the end of my life and the end of everything if I stopped.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to support LIFE and the EARTH as that which gives me everything, but instead I have used and abused the physical to suit and feed my needs as an imaginary person of the mind, that has never really considered life and looking after life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to WAIT to apply myself - so I am WAITING for LIFE and therefore depriving myself of life, and at the same time abusing life.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace life and to give up my illusions in every breath, no matter what they are, in realizing that they are NOTHING and that life is EVERYTHING - so there is no need for fear of loss.


Self-Correction

I commit myself to pushing myself to being absolutely specific in pinpointing the thoughts and experiences of the mind within and as me to be able to effectively stop and remove them.

I commit myself to not accept and allow the point of fear of loss, and to instead push myself to embrace life and realize that everything is here and that I don't need to hold onto desires and experiences and illusions of the mind that I have allowed me to become.

I commit myself to STOPPING the mind breath by breath and becoming the directive principle of my life for the first time.

I commit myself to being aware of what exists here in this world and to not fool myself by living in self-interest as if everything is fine when it is not - to NOT allow myself to exist within the delusion of ignorance, which is done out of fear.

I commit myself to not turn a blind eye to reality simply because of fear, and I commit myself to transcend my fear of what is here in this world in the realization that this fear does not help me, it does not help anyone in this world, and it only makes living an effective life impossible, which is unacceptable.

I commit myself to fully realizing that it is unnecessary to accept and allow fear within and as me, and to live this realization to its fullest.

I commit to myself to give up my self-interest and embrace life totally.